Psychonemesis

by Ballaärat

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04:18
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03:26
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02:07
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04:08
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04:44
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04:58
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04:55
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credits

released December 13, 2000

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Ballaärat Los Angeles, California

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Track Name: Psychonemesis Pt. 1
Welcome inside, but pardon my mind;
for I did not expect anyone.

I thought no one would come.

Pardon my disdain, please let me explain
and show you whose waiting…
deep down inside…

The demon of my mind.

I am my nemesis; I torture my own mind;
no matter how I try to resist…
I burn from inside.
This is my genesis; let the story unfold.
Why must it come to this…
can I ever take control?

I need you here with me,
to see what comes to be;
if I cannot save myself;

Promise me know, please make a vow
to tell my story…
if I lose myself…

If I lose my mind.

I am my nemesis; I torture my own mind;
no matter how I try to resist…
I burn from inside.
This is my genesis; let the story unfold.
Why must it come to this…
can I ever take control?

Let my story be told…
Track Name: Bed Of Torment
Watch the needle rise.
Watch an entity bow
Torment rises from it's bed; torment rises now.
Yet still, you choose your stick...
and whip me to death.
Watch the seconds burn.
Watch the dawn keep its vow.
Torment rises once again; torment rises now.
Yet still, you choose your stick...
and beat me to death.
yet still, you choose your stick...
and thrash me to death.
Yet still...you whip me to death
Track Name: The Separator
Inside I possess
a torment raging within;
tearing an abyss
inside my mind.

Shattered, splintered, split;
my mind divided in two.
Can you see two of me,
for I know both of you…

We have been divided,
a torment to ourselves.
Now is the time to decide…
Should I fight you,
or should I fight myself…
or simply lose my mind.

My severed thoughts collide
as within your mind.
How long till the time,
of the next divide…
now that a part of you has died

I have been divided,
A torment to myself.
Now is the time to decide…
if a part of me dies,
to free the other side…

Will I still lose my mind…

Can I ever free my mind?
Track Name: Ganymede
My hanging hands cover my mask as I begin to fall.
After all...we all begin to fall.
Condemn my strength, pull at my breath,
my clock it ticks the seconds of death.
Tarnishing hope...my tarnishing ring,
watch me sinking...
again, again, again.
I was so new,
I was so new,
so new.
My longing thoughts slip to the past, as I begin to fade.
After all, we all fade away.
Where is my strength, nothing is left.
My eyes they gaze, to this mirror of death.
Tarnishing hope...my tarnishing ring,
watch me sinking...
again, again, again.
I was so new,
I was so new,
so new.
Despair has such a sweet caress,
but
I don't want to be left out here...
I don't want to be left out here...
I don't want to be left out here!
Track Name: Darwin Chip
My soul burns with a passion fierce
as a thousand burning suns;
the fire of life that you…
put into me.

Ecstasy, like a shroud
drapes my ivory skin;
longing, needing, feeding…
my new desires within.

My mind cries out with a deafening voice
the call of my hunger to feed;
the infectious need that you…
put into me.

Anxiety, spills away
running as I know begin;
burning, yearning, learning…
my new desires within.

My voice calls out with a stirring will
succumbing to my own demand;
the looming command that you…
put into me.

Rhapsody, like a storm
rises, drawing me in:
sensing, seizing, feeling…
my new desires within.

My body burns with a passion fierce
as a thousand burning suns;
the fire of life that grows…
inside of me.

Ecstasy exploding
for what has now come to be;
the fire of life that now…
rages in me.

Longing, needing, feeding…
Burning, yearning, learning…
Sensing, seizing, feeling…

My new desires within…
Track Name: The Light I Destroy
A solitary light invades my room.
Burning the walls with a radiant glow.
Quickly I rise to cover my eyes.
Refusing to recall any visions at all.
I choose to hide from the sights that show.
And I kill the light that invades my eyes.
The light I will destroy.
A wandering thought enters my mind.
Releasing an image that I hold in vain.
A vision I tried my best to hide.
Refusing to view any memories of you...
I again decide to forget the pain.
And I wipe the tears that invade my eyes.
The light I will destroy.
A curtain of darkness covers my eyes.
Any light I will destroy.
Here I lie until my thoughts subside.
For memories can't live within a void.

The light I will destroy.
Track Name: Drought
This is how it feels…
This is how I feel…
Has anyone felt this way?
Does anyone know how this feels?

I'm going to take it all away…
And I don't even know why…
But, I think that I am right…
For I am drought.
Track Name: Dedicated
I can feel my soul; burning down to the ground.
Calling crying to anyone; making no sound.
My hope is resting in no one's hands.
The distance...
The distance expands.
Close my eyes, no reason to see.
Time no longer...
Time no longer waits for me.
Should I continue to play this game?
The heartache remains the same.
Can I find strength within so much pain;
and remain...dedicated to this game?
I am just ashes; scattered pieces all around.
Nowhere to be found.
Screaming dying I drown; in silence that surrounds.
Nowhere to be found.
Nowhere to find me.
Should I continue to play this game?
The heartache remains the same.
Can I find strength within so much pain;
and remain...dedicated to this game?
My hope is resting in my hands.
My hope is resting in my hands.
Open my eyes and see...
Open my eyes and see...
That my fate...is up to me.
Should I continue to play this game?
The heartache remains the same.
Can I find strength within so much pain;
and remain...dedicated to this game?
Track Name: The Revolt
Smell the scent of a thousand footsteps
on the floor I once called home.
She sleeps in the same corner that I did long ago.

The corner that's never alone…

I interpret a thousand words
In her half closed eyes.
From out here I know and feel her thoughts inside.

To regret she'll never allow a second of time…

We are virgins to sorrow,
we know this time wont last.
As with mine, a thousand times,
this will soon be in your past.

I bend down to hear a thousand voices
As I listen she whispers out loud.
She wishes to hear the laughter, the laughter of a happier sound.

I want to change the life that she's found…

I touch her face of a thousand fears
And awake her of what she sees.
And in my arms, she now knows…
that she can finally leave.

We are virgins to sorrow,
we know this time wont last.
As with mine, a thousand times,
this will soon be in your past.

---------------------------------

I've been sent back;
just to see it all again.

What has come of me before…
transcends;
from me,
to you,
and back to me again.

The cycle cuts again…
This circle must end.

Stand up and revolt…
Stand up and defend.

Help me, bring this all…

To an end.
Track Name: Apparition
Standing in the void of your open eyes...
you cannot see me.
Do you even know I'm here?
Straining I reach out to touch you.
But you cannot feel me.
How can you when your not even there.
When will you find me?
When will you come to me?
Will you ever...ever see me?
Grasping the remains of a fading smile...
I long to see you.
Just to envision you...once again.
Once again.
When will you find me?
When will you come to me?
Will you ever...ever need me?
Track Name: Rain
I need to breathe.
But the dust beckons in a frenzy
to take away my breath.

No longer can I see…the visions,
that stood so clearly
before my eyes.

Once lurid were my sights,
but faded,
doubt lingers over
my mind.

I'm losing my hold;
I'm straining,
to retain
the reason that I fear…
death.

Bring on the shelter of the overcast.
To pour down the strength that I need.
How long till I find the resurrection…
to rain down on me?

Through the haze of this tarnishing world
I've come to find myself displaced.
A soul tossed aside amongst the others,
sharing now the hope of nothing.

But one thought refuses to die,
hanging;
showing might through vain.

The image that shines while you repress,
knowing you cannot erase
my will to remain.

Bring on the shelter of the overcast.
To pour down the strength that I need.
I know I can find the resurrection…
to rain down on me!

My eyes stare across the dimming light
of the souls that are far too old.
Youth has been drained
longing for what cannot be found.

For now I can see the resurrection
that radiates from me,
the rain…I have come to be.
Your resurrection…I have come to be.
The rain…I have come to be!

And I will come down, to take the tears away.
And I will come down, to take the fear away.
And I will come down, to take the pain away.
And I will come down…

to take it all away!
Track Name: End Of Drought
The torment of this world
Has slain me today…

The torment of this world
Has had its final say…

But, as my time passes by…

So shall torment…

Fade away.
Track Name: Psychonemesis Pt. 2
Welcome me outside, it's time to leave my mind…

Time to bid my nemesis a farewell goodbye.

Excuse me if I hesitate, for this first step I take…

Fills me with a strange sorrow for the one I leave behind…

The demon gone from my mind.

Welcome me outside, I have a message from my mind…

Please take the time to hear this last request from inside.

My days of torment are now behind, your nemesis has died…

I speak for myself and those outside when I ask you to keep this in mind…

Remember, you are not alone…

Remember, you are never alone.

Farewell, goodbye…
Goodbye nemesis,

Goodbye

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